Tantrums, and Whining and Crying... Oh my!!!

Finnley is three.  And I have had many warning from other parents that three can be much worse than two.  And in Finnley's case... that is so true!

The last few days it has been total emotional crying fits complete with kicking and screaming.  I am having a hard time finding the best response to it.  

Usually it starts with her getting in trouble (most often for hurting Lawson... she can be so mean!  Yikes!), and then I tell her that she needs to go and sit in her room for a bit before I come talk to her.   

THEN she remembers that her bad choice is most likely going to result in her losing out in something that she was looking forward to (yesterday it was hot chocolate before bed, and today was a lolly pop after lunch).  

Then she will go into complete hysterics about losing whatever it might be... she cried for about 30 min today "I want a lolly pop...!"  

And at that point it is so hard to get through to her because her mind is so focused on the reward that she is losing that she can't focus on anything else... like listening to me talk to her about her bad choice that got her there.  

And of course at that point she is in such a raging fit I can't really let her get up ... she would just continue the fit all over the house.  Sometimes it works to distract her with a book or giving her a piece of paper to color on.  And I don't want to cave and be like "ok if you stop crying and listen you can still have the lolly pop".  

So, I just try and remember that it is hard for her too, and I try REALLY hard to keep my cool and be patient and understanding... 

And I pray 4 is a little better.

And for the record... Finnley asked me to take that picture of her because I had just taken one of Lawson - I don't usually bust out my camera when my kid is crying. 


chantelseas said...

Wow, thought I might have been the only one in this awful boat..lol. I make Faith take a deep breath and sit in time out till she is calm. Usually that's what does it but someyimes not. Your a great mom and you really do think about your actions and how they effect your kids. I just tell myself that it has to wear off....it just has to...lol!

Mama Mayfield said...

So nice hearing I'm not alone... there are definetly times I think I must be doing something wrong for her to be this hysterical over the simplist thing! I am so grateful for friends who can relate and reassure me that it is normal! And yes, there should at least be a few tantrum-free years before they become teenage emotion-wrecks, right?!

Melanie said...

I have a 4 year old son and its worse they are smarter! Ha ha and their negotiating skills are better. You are a great mom! I always tell myself when they are flipping out that I am so lucky they do it at home and not in the grocery store.